And the moment the manager realised they’re managing the wrong problem
This is a real-world story that reflects a challenge we regularly help employers navigate, often when things have already progressed further than they needed to. What starts as a well-intentioned attempt to manage performance can quickly become time-consuming, costly, and frustrating for everyone involved when the real issue hasn’t been clearly identified. In this case, stepping back and reframing the problem allowed us to shift the situation away from breakdown and toward resolution. Along the way, there were some clear lessons, and practical tips, that can help you avoid ending up here in the first place.
The warning signs were there.
Late sales quotes. Incomplete information. Clients bypassing the sales process and calling the manager directly. Frustration building, and fast.
So, the employer did what many businesses do when things start to slide.
They launched performance management.
A formal PIP. Clear goals. Regular check-ins. Plenty of time and energy poured in.
But when we stepped in, the real question wasn’t “can this employee do the job?”
It was “are they choosing not to?”
👉 If this already sounds familiar, that pause right there is exactly when a second opinion can save months of pain.
The Story
The employee knew the sales process inside out. They’d used it before. Successfully.
The business had a clear and reasonable CRM system:
- How leads were managed
- How follow-ups were tracked
- How notes were entered
- How quotes flowed through the pipeline
When the system was used properly, it worked. For the individual, the manager, and the wider business.
The CRM system was proven, tested, and worked well, when it was followed.
The problem?
The employee didn’t like it.
They avoided the CRM pipeline, entered incomplete data, and ignored the agreed quoting process. When challenged, they pushed back:
“My way is better.”
Except it wasn’t.
Errors increased. Quotes were late or incomplete. Deadlines were missed. And clients started calling the manager directly, because the system no longer gave them what they needed and they needed answers.
This is where it’s worth remembering Isaac Newton’s Third Law of Motion:
“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
In employment terms, behaviour always creates outcomes.
Choosing not to follow a reasonable system didn’t just affect the employee, it created pressure upstream (for the manager), downstream (for clients), and across the business. The reaction was inevitable.
Behind the scenes, the manager even recalled a conversation where the employee said they weren’t going to follow the process for a range of reasons that were based on their opinion, not fact.
But it wasn’t documented.
So instead of addressing a refusal to follow reasonable instructions, the employer found themselves deep in an exhausting PIP, trying to fix a problem that wasn’t really about performance at all.
👉 This is one of those grey areas, where having HR on-call, and it is someone who knows your business and the team, makes all the difference.
What Was Really Going On?
In NZ employment terms, this distinction matters — a lot.
- Performance issues arise when an employee is unable to meet expectations, despite training, support, and clarity.
- Misconduct issues arise when an employee is unwilling to meet expectations, including refusing or repeatedly failing to follow lawful and reasonable instructions.
This distinction is clearly recognised by Employment New Zealand, which explains that poor performance is about capability, while misconduct is about behaviour.
The Employment Relations Authority has also consistently reinforced this in its decisions. Where an employee:
- Understands what is required
- Has demonstrated they can do it
- And chooses not to comply
…the issue is conduct, not competence.
In this situation:
- The employee knew the CRM process
- They had followed it successfully before
- They openly preferred not to use it
- And their refusal directly caused the errors and missed deadlines
This wasn’t a skills gap.
It was non-compliance.
👉 And just like Newton’s law predicts, the reaction, conflict, escalation, and formal process, was unavoidable once the behaviour continued.
The Turning Point
Because the process had already started, we advised the employer to stay on course, but with a shift in approach.
We coached the manager on:
- The language to use
- The questions to ask
- How to test whether the issue was can’t or won’t
It took time.
There were uncomfortable conversations.
There were moments that tested everyone’s resilience.
But eventually, the picture became clear, and verifiable:
- The employee understood the process
- They were capable of following it
- Their refusal was what caused the errors
Only then could the situation be addressed properly.
👉 This is exactly the kind of scenario where early HR input changes the trajectory preventing long, costly detours.
The Learnings
1. Stop and sense-check before you start
Performance management is heavy. Before you begin, ask:
Is this about skill or conduct?
A quick call can save months.
2. Document the informal stuff
Those “just a chat” moments matter.
A follow-up email or note can show:
- You listened
- Expectations were clear
- What changed, or didn’t
3. Consistency beats personal preference
Allowing “my way” only works until it breaks systems others rely on.
What to Do Instead
- Get a second opinion early
- Identify whether the issue is performance or misconduct
- Be explicit about expectations and consequences.
- Document informal conversations
- Address refusal to follow reasonable instructions promptly and fairly
And If You’re Reading This Thinking… “This Is Us”
That’s where Better HR Co. comes in.
We work as your integrated HR partner, giving you:
- On-call support when something doesn’t feel right
- A trusted advisor who knows you and your business, not just the problem of the day
- Practical, legally sound guidance before things escalate
Whether you need a quick sense-check, support through a tricky situation, or help building leadership capability to navigate these grey areas with confidence, we’re here.
📞 Get in touch with the Better HR Co. team.
Your first 15 minutes are always free, because the right advice at the right time changes everything.
Disclaimer
This content is based on a general scenario we have encountered and provides general advice only. For the best support for your specific situation, please contact the team for tailored advice.
